Grief is never easy
by charisma26
Summary: Paige and Piper talk and grieve about Chris' death. heart ache here! between 7x01 and 7x02! please R&R!


Disclaimer: Charmed is nay mine folks!

Takes place between 7x01 and 7x02

I actually kinda cried writing this.

Paige walked into the manor after a hard day at her new temp job and she yearned to get off her feet. She dumped her bag and jacket at the front door, preparing to head on upstairs when she heard a sniffle from the kitchen.

She gingerly walked down the hall and into the kitchen and what she saw made her heart ache. Piper was sitting at the kitchen table staring down at baby Chris in his basket, a tissue in her hand as tears flowed down her red cheeks – her eyes were red from crying.

"Piper?" she asked gently, moving forward so she was sitting down next to her. Piper looked up at her, her eyes so grief stricken and full of pain Paige didn't need to be an empath to see how much her sister was hurting.

"He's gone" she sobbed, sniffing. Paige knew she was talking about Chris, it was blindly obvious. The way she was so protective of baby Chris, the way her shoulders hunched over in defeat every time the subject of Chris was brought up but most of all the way she tried to be strong but Paige saw how hard it was for her to go on like normal – she saw it in her eyes.

"I know honey" she soothed, rubbing her sister's hands in her own.

"he's never coming back" she stuttered as she tried to blink away more tears but failed, the saltwater cascaded in torrents down her face, dripping off the end of her chin.

"He's still here Piper, one day he'll grow up into the man we knew with that unruly brown hair and his sarcastic wit, you haven't really lost him" Paige said and smiled slightly when the corners of Piper's mouth tugged up – obviously remembering the good qualities about her son. Soon though she frowned, staring down at baby Chris who was sleeping peacefully in his basket.

"Was he in pain?" she asked brokenly, eyes piercing Paige's soul. She didn't know what to say, how could she explain he bled to death on her bed, slowly fading away until he disappeared in Leo's arms, emerald eyes closing.

Piper was still looking at her, waiting for an answer. Paige gulped nervously and felt tears prickle the corners of her eyes as she replayed that day in her mind.

"Piper… don't do thi…" she started to say soothingly, it wouldn't do any good for her to know. Piper looked more determined than ever though and ripped her hands from Paige's, angry tears spilling down her face.

"Paige please… I need to know, he was my son god dammit, if anyone deserves to know it's me" she demanded furiously standing up. Paige took a deep breath and pulled Piper back into a seat.

"Honey, Gideon stabbed him with an athame, the wound was un-healable" Paige responded, not knowing what else to say. It broke her heart to watch her nephew clinging to life as the pain took over his body – he tried to hide it for his dad's sake but Paige watched as he grimaced, watched as sweat broke out on his face from the effort it cost him.

"I know that but was. he. In. pain?" She repeated, clinging to the counter top tightly.

Paige felt her own warm tears erupt from her eyes at the pain in Piper's voice and the memories of that fateful day. No mother should hear about her son's death – least of all Piper.

Piper took Paige's non answer as a yes and Paige watched as guilt flared up in her eyes and she held her chest as if she couldn't breathe, choked sobs tore its way through her throat.

"Hey, hey Piper, it's okay" she consoled her but Paige knew these were empty words; her son was dead because he was protecting his brother and Piper didn't know how to let go. How will anything ever be okay?

Piper's face scrunched up in pain and mascara trailed down her cheeks. Paige just held her hands, what else could she do? She watched helplessly as Chris said his dying words to his dad, never giving up about saving Wyatt.

Piper hiccupped and rubbed her running nose, staring at Paige like she needed help.

"I failed him Paige, I didn't save Wyatt and that cost Chris his life. He lived in a dark world all because I failed as a mother. I killed my own son" she cried out, gripping Paige's forearms in a vice like grip.

"No you didn't Piper. What happened to Wyatt and Chris wasn't your fault okay? Chris didn't blame you honey, he loved you – very much so, all he wanted to so was save his family" Paige called out, trying to ease her sister's pain, if only by a little bit.

"You know what his last words were?" she asked feeling the flow of tears not stopping. Piper shook her head sadly, looking so dejected and heartbroken Paige thought that right then and there her heart had shattered. She had lost her nephew; she couldn't lose her sister too.

"Leo told him to hold on, begged him to not give up, and you know what Chris said? He said 'you either'. Piper, Chris wanted nothing more than too save Wyatt – protect his family. Even when dying he cared enough to make that his dying wish, honour him Piper, make sure Chris didn't die in vain" Paige pleaded, hoping to make Piper understand.

Piper nodded uncertainty but broke out into fresh sobs.

"I should've been there Paige, I should've been able to comfort him and tell him how much I loved him, I should've been able to say goodbye" she croaked out and Paige gathered her in her arms, stroking her hair as her sister cried and fisted the back of her shirt.

Paige held her sister as she cried for her lost son. She missed Chris so much, his wayward smile, witty comments, soft voice, comforting manner and even his neurotic behaviour, she missed him more than she thought was possible.

But she vowed to help her sister through her pain; she had already lost so much it was unbearable. Paige stared down at Chris in his basket as he opened his eyes groggily, emerald eyes piercing Paige's, those vibrant eyes she had grown to love. She wouldn't lose Chris again.

So… was it okay? Please review!


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